You Might be Crazy?
I know this may offend many women but I am willing to take the risk. We often hear guys say things like:
- She’s nuts.
- They are all crazy you just need to find the crazy you can deal with.
- She is hot until she opens her mouth.
These are the common things that most men complain about. So my challenge to the ladies is to think about whether or not you are nuts. I really don’t like the words “nuts” and “crazy” but because these are the words so many guys use I think we need to stick with them. Here of some examples of what men would qualify as nuts.
Jill asks her husband how her new jeans look. He simply replies “fine”. Jill yells at him and gets upset that he didn’t offer her more of a reaction. Imagine if her husband told her that he really thought the jeans made her look fat?
Carrie wakes up and finds the kitchen a mess. She starts slamming dishes around screaming that no one ever helps her clean up. Her boyfriend starts to help and she continues to yell at him for not having done this to begin with. All he can think about is how to get away from her.
Bob is newly dating Michelle. He has a monthly guy’s night out. He has never been married and has many guy friends. Michelle screams at him that he doesn’t care about her and attempts to use guilt to make him stay home with her. After all of that yelling he can’t think of anything better than getting the hell away from her.
I know there are more extreme examples of nuts. I have heard about the women who damage property, say sick and hateful things, accuse them of cheating for no reason and yell at their husbands in public. I fully understand that men can do things to antagonize us, set us off and even make us feel worse. But if you can own your own crazy you can actually change it. And here are some tips on how to do just that.
- Admit that your reaction was a little nuts. Stop blaming your boyfriend, kids, boss or anyone else who has set you off. If you fly off the deep end you need to own your own reaction.
- When you are feeling really angry force yourself to walk away. Go down the basement, in a closet or even for a walk. Take your phone with you and record your angry reaction. Play it back and ask yourself how it sounds. Is that someone you would want to be around?
- Self-talk is the most powerful way to make a change. When your boyfriend tells you he is headed out with his friends talk this over with yourself before talking to him. Ask yourself importable questions like…why does this upset me so much?
- Put things in perspective. Remember a time when you had a really good reason to be upset. Perhaps your ex cheated on you. Compare being cheated on to the dishes not being done. Hopefully you can get to a place where you can actually laugh at how ridiculous it is to freak out over a few dishes.
- Find an imaginary role model. I always use Nancy Botwin. Crazy as her life was she never flipped out. I ask myself “what would Nancy do?” I am sure some of you are thinking she is a terrible role model but just find what works for you.
- If you are in a relationship with someone that makes you so unhappy you need to reassess things. Yelling at them and being angry is not the solution. If you are that unhappy perhaps you need to walk away until you are in a place that you can be happy.
I can write this article because like so many of you I too can get crazy. But I know that a relationship can only take so much craziness. Once I owned my craziness it has decreased tremendously. So if you really love your partner own your weaknesses, face the truth and you too will be so much happier.