What Do You Lead With?

Think about your last first date. Try to remember the initial conversations that the two of you had that evening. Was it about you and your kids or was it about your date and his career? Perhaps it quickly went to a sexually flirtatious conversation. Whatever it was there is likely a pattern. Dig a little further back and think about what you have led with on other dates. And if you have a history of bad or disappointing first dates it might be time to take a look at what you lead with. Here are some typical examples of what singles might lead with on a first date and what this really says about you. You kids-When you are a single parent and dating it is tricky. But if you start the dating chatter with stories about your kids you are sending a fast message. Likely you feel some guilt...

Stupid Things Never To Say In An Argument

People argue all the time. I have been married 10 years and we have some great arguments! It doesn't really matter who is right most of the time (although it is me). What matters is that it is constructive and everyone feels respected. Here are the stupid things that people say that can really just destroy an argument. You didn't apologize correctly-Many times someone will apologize to keep the peace and move on. Usually that person is the stronger person and you should be thankful they are able to do this. Obviously if they say "sorry but you are a complete idiot" you won't accept it. But if they say they are sorry take it and move on. You don't even know what you did wrong-This is a woman usually yelling at a man. Typically men don't know or understand what they did wrong. And many times they did nothing wrong. I...

When Should We Become Facebook Friends

We are so curious to learn everything we can about our potential new partner as fast as possible. Facebook is likely the most telling of all. We want to see their photos, read their posts, calculate how many likes they have and even view their friends, groups and interests. I just took a look at my husband's facebook page to see what I could learn while trying to pretend that I didn't know him. First thing that I noticed was that his pictures are super creepy! The cover photo is an up close shot of him with one eye dilated. You can see every last blemish on his face. Let's face it we all look better with a little distance. His profile picture is him covered in dirt at the end of a tough mudder. I admit that is kind of hot but you can't really even tell what he...

It Could Be All Your Fault

Most people get angry when I suggest that it might be their fault that their last relationship ended. I understand completely. It is so much easier to blame someone else. But I am not the person that is going to coddle you or sit around and bash your ex lover. My sister recently attacked me when I tried to help her see the things that she did that may have damaged her last relationship. She actually said "you would never tell a client it was their fault!" I corrected her and said, "actually that is exactly what I do." If you are ready to face the truth keep reading. We often create exactly what we fear! This may sound a bit confusing but follow these examples. My neighbor Tommy is a 13 year old boy. He fears kids won't like him so he is always trying to brag and one up...

Have You Ever Had Sex Too Soon?

Women who have sex with men they are not in committed relationships with are often getting dumped and don't understand why! I am all for casual, great sex. But if you are looking for a commitment and can't understand what is going wrong this just might be it! I hear so many women say that they are afraid to ask for a commitment because they don't want to scare the guys away. But they send the guys running because these guys don't want a girl willing to accept casual sex! Basically their fear is losing the guy and that is exactly what they create in the end. Here are a few tips to try if you think having sex too soon is the real issue...

How Can I Meet “Normal” Singles?

I know it can be frustrating trying to meet other singles. But on the bright side I can assure you that there are many! I know this because I have over 2000 singles in my database and I can’t imagine I have found every single guy and girl out there. I understand internet dating and speed dating aren’t for everyone. So I promise no dirty sales pitching in this blog. Many of you want it to happen naturally. Sometimes we have to push nature just a little bit. And that might mean just getting up and getting out the door. Here are my best tips to push the process and help you meet your match a little more naturally. Find the events-It is summer time and so many parks have great outdoor concerts http://www.elizabethpark.org/summer-concert-series-2013.htm. The local museums are starting to offer some great events too https://got5minutes.com/register/?event_id=222  . Another favorite that so many...

Opposites Attract But Will They Drive Each Other Nuts?

Opposites can attract. Seriously, I don’t want a guy that shares my interests! Anyone that wants to needle point, scrap book or take a Zumba class is just not the guy’s guy that I desire! You don’t need shared interests, aligned political views or even like the same TV shows! In fact I love lying in bed watching Parenthood while my husband is in the den watching hockey. But not all opposites mesh quite so well! Here are a few that don’t and some tips to make it work! Opposite spending habits. When you have a compulsive shopaholic dating a penny pincher it will often lead to stress, arguments and potential lies. I remember my mother used to tell my father that every outfit she bought was 1/2 the price that it really was. My Dad picked up on this began doubling the price she told him. At that point my...

Never Date this Type of Guy!

You have met the perfect man! He professes his love within days of contacting you. He has an amazing career, survived a big tragedy in life (typically the death of his wife), he adores children and always wanted a family, he buys you nice gifts and works hard to show you how close the two of you are. He also claims he rarely dates but there is just something so special about you. You finally believe that love might not just be a fantasy. You find it refreshing after all the jerks you have dated in the past. It seems a bit fast but you have rationalized that you deserve this and you believe that you are special! You avoid sharing too many details with your friends because you sense they will discourage you.  You feel a little uneasy but want this to work so badly that you fall into a...

Guys on Match MUST READ!

I am doing a little match.com mentoring for a lovely lady and am quite annoyed by these profiles I am reading. Guys if you could all just fix up your profiles based on my advice I would be able to help my beautiful client find love on match much quicker. Are you ready? STOP posting pictures of your children on match.com. Go right in to your profile and delete any pictures with your kids! Put those on your facebook page. Corny is crap! Don’t say you want to walk through the raindrops with me. My client is not looking to date an asexual poetry teacher here. She wants a man! No offense to the poetry teachers, I am sure many are very good guys. Sorry! But not such a man that you post pictures of yourself sweating or even worse with your shirt off. Trust me if you are cut we can tell...