How Divorced Are You?

New divorcees proudly wave their court document and chant their final divorce date. It is a huge accomplishment that many celebrate with divorce parties. Some wear T-Shirts with slogans like “The #1 Cause of Divorce is Marriage” or “Free at Last”. But are these people really divorced? Although the court process is exhausting and can be very drawn out it is actually the easier part. Making the necessary changes to your life is what really makes it over. Here are some things to consider when moving on.   Does your ex still have the freedom to enter your home without knocking or unannounced? Many women will rationalize that it was their shared house and they are just used to that. Another common excuse is that the kids like when their dad pops over. The kid “excuse” can usually guilt us into anything.  You are divorced and need to set some clear boundaries. You...

What Do You Lead With?

Think about your last first date. Try to remember the initial conversations that the two of you had that evening. Was it about you and your kids or was it about your date and his career? Perhaps it quickly went to a sexually flirtatious conversation. Whatever it was there is likely a pattern. Dig a little further back and think about what you have led with on other dates. And if you have a history of bad or disappointing first dates it might be time to take a look at what you lead with. Here are some typical examples of what singles might lead with on a first date and what this really says about you. You kids-When you are a single parent and dating it is tricky. But if you start the dating chatter with stories about your kids you are sending a fast message. Likely you feel some guilt...

Don’t Be Afraid to get Naked

There are some women who feel sexiest flaunting their bodies and sporting sexy lingerie. Others prefer to be hidden behind layers of clothing and dread the day a man begins to peel these off. Who would you rather be? It is important to feel sexy with your clothes off. Women should be able to enjoy sex. If they are self-conscious and focusing energy on how to hide their belly with a pillow, shut the lights and limit themselves to one position they are not going to be able to focus on the pleasure. Looking and feeling your best is important in life and I think we all know the obvious truth about clean eating and exercise. The simple truth is we come in all shapes and sizes and even with the best habits some of us have a shape that we simply don’t like. Rather than waste energy on trying...

Stupid Things Never To Say In An Argument

People argue all the time. I have been married 10 years and we have some great arguments! It doesn't really matter who is right most of the time (although it is me). What matters is that it is constructive and everyone feels respected. Here are the stupid things that people say that can really just destroy an argument. You didn't apologize correctly-Many times someone will apologize to keep the peace and move on. Usually that person is the stronger person and you should be thankful they are able to do this. Obviously if they say "sorry but you are a complete idiot" you won't accept it. But if they say they are sorry take it and move on. You don't even know what you did wrong-This is a woman usually yelling at a man. Typically men don't know or understand what they did wrong. And many times they did nothing wrong. I...

Please Tell Me You Didn’t Say This in Your Profile!

I am always on match.com making over profiles and I see so many simple ways that one could improve their profile in just a few words. Here is a list of some of my favorite silly mistakes and how to clean them up quickly!   “I love my life”. Many profiles actually start with this sentence or slip it in somewhere along the way. Nothing says I hate my life more than writing that you love your life. I believe many do have a great life but when that is the opening line it just sounds so forced. It is especially funny when you click on their pictures and they are frowning in half of them.  “I want a successful, intelligent, confident” blah blah blah. This really says that you have dated just the opposite. Who doesn’t want those things? It is pretty obvious. No one is going to say I want a...

To Kiss or Not to Kiss?

I have heard women say they simply don't kiss on the first date. They are a complete different breed than those who are contemplating whether or not to have sex on the first date. Or at least that is what they want us to believe. I don't fully understand why someone wouldn't kiss on the first date but I respect that decision. However, I am going to share with you why I think it is a good idea. This only applies to kissing someone that you are attracted to. Under no circumstances do I think you should kiss someone that you are not into. In fact, I am pretty confident that if you aren't feeling it before the kiss you are only going to feel it less after the kiss. Kissing someone that you think is cute feels incredible. It is not going to cause a disease or even lead someone...