Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Do you know anyone in one of those ambivalent relationships? You know the type that is always questioning whether or not they should stay or go. You would imagine that they get so exhausted trying to make a decision and really you and everyone that loves them knows exactly what they should do! Here is a little activity that might help you or “your friend” make that tough decision. Take a moment to imagine spending the rest of your life with this person as is. Imagine every holiday, and vacation includes this person with the traits that you find undesirable. Depending on where you are in life imagine this person co-parenting children and engaging in school events. Think about what you are feeling. Does dread come to mind? Are you thinking oh please this would be hell? Or are you thinking that it would be perfect and it makes you very happy?...

How Can Making Dinner Be So Wrong?

So every once in a while (and I mean once in a while) Erik has this brilliant idea to make dinner. He opens up a recipe book, goes to the grocery store and creates an amazing meal for the family. Now rationally I know that I am very lucky to have a husband that helps out like this and takes the burden off of me once in a while. But for some reason it never plays out quite like this. I begin getting defensive. I feel as if he is trying to say that I am not a good enough wife and should have already made such a delicious meal. I do cook but it is rare that I pull open a recipe book like he does. I am great with Mexican night, throwing some burgers on the grill and easy chicken and rice dishes. My meals are edible and no...

Never Ask Her… Why Are You Still Single?

We all have those friends that are single and searching for love. Now I know there are still those who enjoy being single and I fully respect their decision. But let’s talk about those friends that so want to find that perfect relationship. I know a lot about this because when I was in my thirties I was one of those ladies. I remember walking through the mall pushing the stroller of my one year old son. I had not yet accepted my new status of being a single mother. I was angry at the world. And let me tell you if I saw a woman with a wedding ring on, I hated her. And if there was a man carrying her bags I hated both of them. I had great difficulty hiding my anger and knew that being single was not something I was ready to face. I needed my...

Are You Guilty of Divorce?

Are You Guilty? Well someone has to initiate the divorce if the marriage is not repairable. And although I give a lot of credit to the person that was stronger, braver and ready to face reality first I realize that the guilt that comes along with this can be very hard to manage. I personally was on the other side of the divorce. I was the one on the receiving end. The one left to manage the feelings of rejection and failure. But guilt was not avoidable. Although I didn’t make the choice to terminate the marriage I still felt guilty enjoying life after divorce. I remember my first Christmas after the split. It had been just days shy of a year since we separated. We made it through one last Christmas together for the sake of our one year old son, who honestly would never even remember it. But this Christmas was...

The Dog Pound is a Lot Like Speed Dating

To start let me say that all speed daters are not dogs. In fact I own a speed dating company and most of the participants are quite charming. Charming just happens to be how I would describe some of the dogs I met today. It has been about eight months since my old Pitbull passed away. It was time to start thinking about a new relationship! Those looking for love try speed dating or internet dating web sites. Those looking for a dog typically go to the pound or a pet shop. I prefer the pound and speed dating but all are great options. I arrived at the pound and could see all the candidates yelling, barking and trying to get my attention. Similar to what happens during the ice breaker period of a speed dating event. In the crowd of puppies I spotted one that caught my eye. I felt that...

Why Would You Ever Put This in Your Match.com Profile?

Top 5 Female Match.com Mistakes I just finished another match.com makeover and got caught up looking at other women’s profiles. I am happily married but couldn’t fight the urge to see how others prepared their profiles. Here are my top 5 biggest mistakes that women make with their profiles. Later this week I will post one for the men too! 1. I am quite surprised by how many women write about their children in the very first sentence. Sure you can be proud and mention them but not in the very first sentence. I wonder how many of these women feel a bit guilty being on this dating site so they find it necessary to immediately think of their children. I fully understand that your children are a priority. I have two and I adore them. But please take a few sentences to define who you are as a single, attractive woman. A guy...

Healing That Burn

How to Get Over It! When your hand gets burned banana peels and egg whites just might help with the healing process. But when your heart gets burned that is a whole different story. If you really want to heal that broken heart then it is time to do just that! Remember we control what we think. So if you spend too much time thinking about how burned you got, how angry you are at the burner and convincing yourself that you will never get over this then it is time to change your thoughts. Remember no one is holding a gun to your head telling you that you must think these miserable thoughts. We choose to think them and are so convincing that we actually believe them. Now take those negative beliefs, write them down on a piece of paper and burn them (literally)! If you still have the thoughts flush...

Taking a Break From Dating?

I often hear both men and women say, “I am taking a break from dating!” This usually comes with a tone that sounds agitated and frustrated. But I have to tell you that this makes absolutely no sense what so ever! If you aspire to be a good athlete do you take a break from baseball because you had a few strike outs? This is highly unlikely. In fact that athlete is more apt to work twice as hard. If the athlete did decide to take a break it would be so much harder to improve their game when they returned. If you are so frustrated with finding true love that you are ready to quit I have a better suggestion! Work even harder at the task. Many believe it is the pool of singles that’s the problem. But quite frankly it is you! If you keep dating jerks, ending up in...

Cheating??

The big question lately is whether or not an internet relationship is considered cheating. I don’t know if a divorce court judge would call this infidelity, but I sure would. Any time someone in a marriage is having a relationship that is being kept a secret and could potentially harm the relationship than it is cheating, as far as I am concerned. Imagine what could happen if we didn’t consider this cheating? I truly believe that there are plenty happy, faithful relationships in this world but I understand with all that is happening in the media that many are starting to doubt this. The truth is that if you get married in this lifetime you are going to marry one of 3 types of men. You may not figure out which type you actually married for a long time. But eventually the truth will be revealed. Now I know most married...

Soul Mates?

Do you believe everyone has a soul mate? When you first start dating someone you can’t possibly see through to their soul. You see nothing more than a shell with some fantasies about what the soul may contain. To clarify the word “soul” I looked it up on dictionary.com and found multiple definitions. But what I gathered was it is the feelings, thoughts and actions of people or the emotional part of a person. To me that means everything except the outer exterior. I call that the shell. Initially we fall for the shell, the body, the smile, the face and even the clothes and style of the person we see. We basically become what I will call shell mates in the beginning of any relationship. As time passes something happens to that shell. It changes shape, loses hair, wrinkles among many other things. The connection that those 2 shell...