Life is Not Over Because You Were Dumped

I give mountains of advice daily to my amazing clients. But every now and then someone very close comes to me for help and it is a whole different story! I am not sure that the right person will read this but even if not it just might help someone else. We create and embellish everything that happens in our lives. I will share a personal experience to demonstrate this off the top. My son failed math. My initial story was something like this…OMG he is going to fail for the year, have to stay back, drop out and end up all screwed up. I could have called my support system and found a bunch of people to feed into this even more. My dad is always great for reinforcing my catastrophic stories. Then I wrote a different story…Ouch, my son failed math. He can work extra hard and pull that...

Are You Pickier Than an Eighth Grader?

Are You Pickier Than an Eighth Grader? My 13 year old son just shared a story with me about a time he went to ask a girl out at school. We will call her Annie. Matt recalled wearing his favorite T-Shirt and basketball sneakers and remembers taking extra time to look his best that morning. He arrived to school with all the anticipation of seeing Annie and asking her out. Annie chose a thick, bright pink belt to wear on this day (she apparently knew he was going to ask her out). Matthew thought the belt was awful and I quote him as saying “I was thinking ewwwww, I am not going out with a girl that wears that.” I found the story humorous and appreciated that he shared so much with me. I wondered if Annie was thinking the belt was the deal breaker. Perhaps she regretted it the whole...

To Call or Not To Call?

I am constantly hearing this question about whether or not a girl should call a guy and under what circumstances this is acceptable. 1. It is true that guys like to pursue women. These are the rules and although I don’t make them I sure do understand them. 2. It is true that if a guy is really into you and really likes you that he will call. The only exception is that he may have some kind of emotional or intimacy issues that hold him back. If that is the case then better to find out now. 3. There are guys that will have a great time on a date with you. They may laugh a lot, compliment you and even kiss you goodnight. But at the end of the date they just don’t think you are the one. Women are different. We can not possibly pretend to be interested in a guy...

It’s Not Complicated, You’ve Been Partially Dumped!

What do I mean by a partially dumped? Well there are 2 types. The most obvious type is when a committed relationship is terminated but the sexual encounters continue. And the less obvious situation is when the physical attraction has died but you still spend time together. Both recipes for disaster, both miserable and both will unlikely ever bring you back to where you once were. Let’s dissect this sexual relationship first! You were once in love, connected with each other every day, your friends knew you as a couple and you knew exactly where the relationship stood. Why did things have to change? Basically because he is wondering what other options are out there. For whatever reason the relationship holds no future but the sex is good. Good sex however is not enough to ensure everlasting love! But it sure is hard to walk away from. So you are broken...

I Can’t Get Over Him?

You pass his car on the street and your stomach turns to knots, you wake up in the morning and your heart sinks when there is no text message waiting on your phone from him and you have convinced yourself never to date again. It is called a heart break and I have a little news flash for you…people get over this day after day. Sure I understand you are a little special and your situation was somehow a little worse. Trust me I have been through it a million times. First thing you need to realize is that this is only as awful as you convince yourself! For some reason so many people resist believing me on this one but it is so very true! If you walk around day and night saying to yourself “I will never get over this” or “I can’t deal with the pain I am...

Must I Respond to Every Match Email That I Get?

My answer is no! I hear this debate constantly. Surprisingly I hear more men whining and complaining about this then I do women. And I must say that a nagging, whining man is just not very sexy! So guys please let me put this in perspective for you! First of all so many of the guys literally write a 5000 word essay in that ‘about me’ section. Internet dating is so time consuming as it is. If you honestly expect us to read the long boring profile and then take the time to respond and tell you why we are not compatible it is just not going to happen. We are internet dating here. It is understood that you likely sent 25 messages to 25 different women. It is not as if we have some deep meaningful relationship that warrants any type of closure. No response means we are not interested. So...