Opposites Attract But Will They Drive Each Other Nuts?
Opposites can attract. Seriously, I don’t want a guy that shares my interests! Anyone that wants to needle point, scrap book or take a Zumba class is just not the guy’s guy that I desire! You don’t need shared interests, aligned political views or even like the same TV shows! In fact I love lying in bed watching Parenthood while my husband is in the den watching hockey. But not all opposites mesh quite so well! Here are a few that don’t and some tips to make it work!
- Opposite spending habits. When you have a compulsive shopaholic dating a penny pincher it will often lead to stress, arguments and potential lies. I remember my mother used to tell my father that every outfit she bought was 1/2 the price that it really was. My Dad picked up on this began doubling the price she told him. At that point my mother began cutting it down to a ¼ of the price. Setting limits, budgets and financial goals is the best way to handle this. With second marriages many don’t combine their finances. I think this is a great idea but still important to have a pulse on how the other person is spending.
- Politics are only a problem if someone in the relationship is passionate about their views, preachers constantly or ridicules their partner for not agreeing. For me the more annoying part is their passion for politics. You know that type of guy that brings up politics in inappropriate settings just so he can voice his opinion. My Dad used to try to get in heated debates about Obama. I finally said “Dad I really just don’t give a crap.” I think he found someone else to preach to.
- Religion may take a toll on the couple having children only if one party is super religions. In my house we both agree to raise our children to be happy, respectful, hardworking citizens. Some friends have commented that they need a religion. When I ask them why, none can ever come up with an answer. But the only thing that matters is that my husband and I agree.
- Most people are either givers or takers. This can actually work in many relationships as long as the giver doesn’t build up any resentment. I am guilty of being a huge giver! Not just to my husband but both of my children. There were times I would resent them for not helping out without being told. But what I realized is that I feel great when I give whether it is my heart or gifts. If I need something from them I just need to ask. And usually it all works out.
- Exercise is a tricky one. I have been a member of a gym since the day I turned 13. My parents were the exact same way. Today my Dad is 74 and works out 4 or 5 times a week. His wife chooses not to. Although he would never admit this it drives him nuts! I can’t say I love the act of working out but the way I feel after is amazing. I don’t care if the guy plays sports, runs or hits the gym as long as he is doing something. A couch potato type of guy would drive me nuts!
- Eating is tough. A vegan dating a McDonalds addict is going to be an issue. Especially is the non GMO eating healthy eater preachers, read labels and watches what his partner eats. Usually couples can work through this and after living together for a while their eating habits align. The better cook has all the power to persuade their partner to eat anything as long as it tastes great!
- The overly emotional girl and the guarded guy are a mess. Typically she may be sending sweet gifts, messaging loving texts and always expressing her feelings. The guarded partner can find this annoying and be unwilling to reciprocate. This can be a nightmare. The only way to work through it is to change your expectations of your lover. But if it leaves you feeling lonely or unhappy than it is too big of a price to pay.
- The partner looking for commitment can’t be with the commitment phobic lover. The best way to handle the boyfriend/girlfriend that can’t commit is to walk away. Once they have realized what was at stake they may suddenly be able to get over their commitment issues. And if not, you are now free to find someone without all those issues!