My One and Only One Night Stand

Sex Too Soon!

I am all for great sex. And ladies if you can have a casual fling and feel no emotional attachment, rejection issues or loneliness go for it. But be honest with yourself. Are you having sex because you think it is all you can get? Are you having sex because you believe if you are good he will stick around? Or are you really just in it for the sex and have no other needs?

Personally I think the majority of women have sex because they want more. I am going to share the one story where I had sex too soon. Yes it is true there was only one.

I was in high school and chased Jimmy for my entire high school career. I was careful never to actually have sex with him. My mother was smart to put the fear of STD’s and pregnancy in my head the day I hit puberty. Although I wanted to have sex with Jimmy since the ninth grade I always held off. We got drunk at parties and at the end of the night would typically be driven off in the back of his brother’s car. There was always kissing and other intimacy but never sex. And that means oral sex too. I just knew better.

When I went away to college all the guys seemed so dorky compared to Jimmy. I went home one weekend and found him at the same party spot we attended in our high school days. This night was different. I had figured that nothing worked in the past so perhaps it was time to have sex. My parents were moving out of our home town, I was living at college and likely wasn’t going to ever see him again. He invited me back to his house and I accepted. We went into his cramped bedroom down in his basement and sat on his bed. We did the typical kissing and petting and off came the clothes. We had sex. Was it amazing? No! We were teenagers and we were drunk. It was fine. We passed out briefly. When he woke up at about three in the morning he began getting dressed. I lied in bed watching him put his clothes on. He looked at me and said “are you going to get dressed?” It felt like crap. I put my clothes on and he walked me to the door and gave me a quick hug and a peck on the lips. I walked to my car and turned to look at Jimmy for the last time. He had that smile on his face that always put butterflies in stomach.

My parents moved out of town just weeks later. I never went to a party back home again and I never saw Jimmy’s face again until I found him on facebook.

I learned a lesson at 18 years old. I could have convinced myself that I was using him, or I just needed sex. At 18 I think most girls have sex to please a guy or feel close to someone. I was doing it for those reasons and some unrealistic hope that he would fall in love with me. I learned that day that I never wanted a guy to get up and get dressed after sex. I did not want to have sex with a guy that was not spending the night with me or at least committed to seeing me again in the near future.

Jimmy was not a jerk either. He never pretended anything and never lied to me. He was an 18 year old kid that had a drunk girl practically throw herself at him. Today it is nothing more than a fun memory with some valuable lessons to be learned.

  1. If a guy isn’t committed to you before you have sex he won’t suddenly commit after sex. Get the commitment first.
  2. You can try to pretend and rationalize your behaviors and bad choices in your head. But once you can admit them you can change the pattern.
  3. The quick few minutes of pleasure is hardly worth the walk of shame.

I share this story with you hoping that you will learn a lesson from my experience. I think we all have a Jimmy in our past. No need to have any regrets. If you ever made a bad choice turn it into a happy memory and learn something in the process.

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