Match to Mystery
Have you ever chatted with a guy on match and everything seemed to be going so well? You make a date for the upcoming weekend and you are really excited to have connected with what seems to be a normal guy. The weekend approaches and the guy doesn’t confirm the date. He actually seems to have disappeared off the face of the planet. You check his match profile and it says he is online now. What the heck happened? The only way to know exactly what happened is for us to sit down and dissect your beliefs, dating habits and behavior. But I certainly can speculate and shed some light on this for you. I have to warn you that this is another brutally honest blog. Please don’t be offended as I find my clients get better results when I’m brutally honest.
- Most likely he was talking to multiple women and for some reason he put you at the bottom of the list. Don’t be offended as that won’t help anything. Why not figure out how to stay on the top of a guy’s list. If you only have one or two photos and he can’t quite tell what you look like you just may fall to the bottom of the list. If you start venting or complaining about match you will definitely be pushed aside for someone that is more positive. And if you are too serious or guarded he will likely lose interest.
- Another possibility is that you are only attracted to men that are game players and unavailable. If a guy mentions the word “passion” (aka sex) in his profile or that he loves to kiss then you need to run. Obviously passion is important but to put it in your profile is simply a red flag. If he states in his profile that he only wants a casual relationship don’t respond. Responding to that type of profile screams that you are someone that will accept being mistreated.
- Perhaps you are sending a confusing message to these men. I have seen many women do this over and over again. They are afraid to scare a guy away so they become too passive. They are afraid to get hurt so they hold back. If a guy feels that you may be too reserved or guarded while chatting he may fear that the date will be a bore. Lighten up and have fun in your conversations.
- Some men are just complete mysteries and you may never find out the real reason. They could be married, crazy, in prison, getting back with an ex, have a fake profile or who knows what else. Most profiles are not like this! Don’t start to convince yourself that there are so many creepers on the site or it will never work.
Write to as many guys as you possibly can. Don’t worry about all of the ones that reject you. It happens to all of us! Trust me I sent to so many men and had a low response rate. Just focus on those who do respond. And if one disappears remember that there is always another profile with more potential. Of course the guy should let you know he needs to cancel but you can’t change the way some men handle things. No need to go back and tell him. That will only reaffirm his decision not to date you. Focus on being the best you can be. The only part of a relationship that should be hard work is finding one. Search those profiles, update your pictures, stay positive and good things will come.