Life is Not Over Because You Were Dumped

I give mountainice-cream-in-bed-001-e1304420249543s of advice daily to my amazing clients. But every now and then someone very close comes to me for help and it is a whole different story! I am not sure that the right person will read this but even if not it just might help someone else.

We create and embellish everything that happens in our lives. I will share a personal experience to demonstrate this off the top. My son failed math. My initial story was something like this…OMG he is going to fail for the year, have to stay back, drop out and end up all screwed up. I could have called my support system and found a bunch of people to feed into this even more. My dad is always great for reinforcing my catastrophic stories. Then I wrote a different story…Ouch, my son failed math. He can work extra hard and pull that grade up. And if not he will retake the one class and be fine.  He is a smart kid and I am sure he will figure it all out. Both stories are accurate because the one I choose to believe and recreate in my head is the one that is going to come true.

Now let’s flip this back to my close friend. So you were dumped. So you dated a guy that was looking for something different. The story could be…OMG I hate myself, no one will ever love me, I screw up everything, I am never dating again and will be alone forever. Or we could tell a different story. Ouch, he dumped me. It stings and I will miss so many things about him. But in reality he was annoying in many ways. I will think about what I can learn and get back out there in no time. If we choose the second story we will create that. And if we stay stuck in the first we will be miserable. There is always someone that will feed into the negative story. But is that really what we need?

Change the story in your head. Be honest and put it in perspective. No one is suggesting break ups don’t sting. They hurt like hell but they happen everyday. Don’t make it worse, stop punishing yourself and know that you will be okay like the millions of others who got dumped today.

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