It’s Not Complicated, You’ve Been Partially Dumped!
What do I mean by a partially dumped? Well there are 2 types. The most obvious type is when a committed relationship is terminated but the sexual encounters continue. And the less obvious situation is when the physical attraction has died but you still spend time together. Both recipes for disaster, both miserable and both will unlikely ever bring you back to where you once were.
Let’s dissect this sexual relationship first! You were once in love, connected with each other every day, your friends knew you as a couple and you knew exactly where the relationship stood. Why did things have to change? Basically because he is wondering what other options are out there. For whatever reason the relationship holds no future but the sex is good. Good sex however is not enough to ensure everlasting love! But it sure is hard to walk away from. So you are broken up, in a status that you might call complicated and continue being bed buddies. The biggest misconception is that you have to keep him close by so he will remember how great you are. You likely get better and better in the sack to entice him to keep coming back. He won’t! You have turned into the chick that accepts casual sex, you have given him the message that you don’t think highly of yourself and you are wasting time with someone who is looking for something else. I know many women will argue that they love the sex too! They are choosing to use the guy as well. In some cases this just may be true but in most these women are hopeful that the relationship will become what it once was! It is not the way to do it! If this guy is ever coming back it is because you have enough self respect to say “no way”! Men are more turned on by a confident, secure woman who doesn’t put up with that crap! Sure he may never be coming back either way but I guarantee you the likelihood of it happening far increases when you walk away with some pride.
The second type disturbs me even more. Your committed lover has simply decided that having a sexual relationship with you is no longer desired. But you cook them great meals, run their errands, laugh at their jokes and make them feel desirable. Perhaps once in a while they will accept a sexual favor from you but the shared intimacy is gone. You become buddies with no benefits what so ever. This guy is saying that he wants the perks but is looking to have sex with someone else. Quite simply your delicious meals, time and energy should be reserved for someone who wants to fulfill all of your needs. I hear these women claim that they are treated so well by these guys! Sometimes they even hug and snuggle but it stops there. It is an empty relationship and when this man finds someone else he wants to make love to you will likely be forgotten about very quickly! Don’t kid yourself that you have a wonderful friendship. Platonic friendships between ex lovers never work out once someone finds a new lover. Get out while you still have some self respect. Go find someone who will fulfill all your needs and send this guy on his way!
You can’t go backwards in a relationship! If the commitment is lost the relationship is no longer what it was. The sooner you can accept it and move on the better you will feel. I know we all have desperate moments when we feel very lonely and thought of human contact from the familiar person seems like a cure but it is a band aid on a bullet wound! Be honest with yourself and don’t waste another minute!