I Don’t Want a Penpal!

It happens all the time! You meet someone that seems great on match.com or whatever site you select. You begin to email each other and you sense you have a lot in common. The emails get longer and longer and you begin to get bored! You rush through the message just to see if he ends it with asking you out and he doesn’t. If you just wanted a penpal you could date a prisoner or someone across the country. But this time you find someone within 20 miles of you and he doesn’t seem to want to come out of the computer.

Here is my remedy…

  1. Before you even start chatting with someone take a good look at their profile and not just the pictures. If someone has a profile that drags on and on I disqualify that person. If you are bored in just reading their profile I can assure you this person is likely going to go back and forth for quite a while with chatting.
  2. The initial email sets the tone and needs to be quick, friendly and funny. Don’t share your life story in the first message. If their profile shares something funny laugh and tell them why it made you laugh. They can read your profile if they want to dig deeper.
  3. Never ask questions like… how was your weekend? This is just an opportunity for someone to babble on and on. I mean who cares how the weekend was. You really just need to connect and the best way to establish a connection is to move it off the internet. Long winded questions are going to keep you on the internet longer.
  4. Avoid small talk! Have a handful of fun questions to ask your match. I call this “Big Talk” and here are a few fun questions to get you started…
    1. What did you have for dinner?
    2. What is the last article of clothing you bought?
    3. What is your favorite room in your house?
    4. News or reality TV?
    5. Fix it or hire someone?

These questions are far more fun and telling than asking someone how their weekend was!

5. Ladies it is just fine to initiate contact with a potential match but I would stop at that. You found them and you started the chatting. Sometimes you need to do that because your potential match may not have ever come across your profile. But after that it is up to the guy to ask you out. If they are too shy or unsure then this guy really isn’t worth dating after all. You can drop some friendly hints but don’t go overboard. We all know that the secure guy that we want to date likes a little chase. So don’t make it too easy for them.

If match is not working for you it could be your profile, your attitude or your initial emails. I have done so many match.com makeovers and would be happy to give you a quick, free tip anytime! Just email your username to datedoctor@got5minutes.com.



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