I Am Curvy, Slender and Athletic with the Potential to Get Fat
If these internet dating sites allowed me to select multiple body types on my profile I would check at least the three in this title. Would you write to me? Would you even click my profile if that was the first thing you read?
This whole “body type” selection question is the most difficult part for both sides of the dating sites. The one writing their profile wants to catch someone’s attention without being dishonest. The one browsing through the profiles is always wondering how honest the person is with that question. It is not always about dishonesty. There are four reasons why people are inaccurate.
1. The slightly overweight person is feeling empowered as they write that profile. They feel as though they have taken a giant leap to find love. They actually believe that by the time they get to a date they will have lost those few extra pounds or they will be toned up after a few disciplined visits to the gym.
2. Some people are just simply delusional. The guy who ran a marathon two years ago. Even though he hasn’t seen the inside of a gym since the day he collapsed at the finish line, he believes that still qualifies him as athletic.
3. Some actually make the massive mistake of asking their friend for advice on the question. Now we know they are never going to ask that brutally honest friend! So they ask the sweet, timid friend who couldn’t kill a fly. That sweet friend assures them that they are skinny and slender. They smile and continue with their profile.
4. Then there are those who just simply know that everyone exaggerates on the site and they go with the flow. They assume the person writing is likely full of crap too. They would be happy to just at least get out of the house and have a great date. They either hope the date will get past the lie, won’t notice or expected the lie.
Someone in our facebook group suggested I write a blog on this subject and include things like BMI index and bodyfat content. This sounded too clinical for an internet dating profile. Personally I think match should just remove the whole question! But they won’t. So I am going to do my best to explain how body type should be selected.
Slender-This is when you are lucky enough to have a skinny frame without much effort and usually the results of some great genetics. It means that you look good with your clothes on. Maybe not a tank top and skirt but you look thin under anything else. If one gets too close they may see some bingo curtains hanging off the arms or other places. But they are skinny.
Average-Most people are average. They look fine. These people may work out a couple times a week, may have some good genes and in the right outfit they can look great!
Athletic and toned-This is the person that works out and has muscle tone, strength and likely a good BMI index. They look great in and out of clothes. Someone can be larger in size but everything is tight and firm.
Curvy-This one annoys me because I don’t really think it deserves to be its own option. You have to be another option along with curvy. I am slender and athletic but my hips are curvy. If I selected curvy the guy would be disappointed that I have no other curves on my body! If you are curvy and you work out a lot you are also fit and athletic. I just think they should let us pick two options or delete the curvy.
A few extra pounds-This does not mean 5 extra pounds. Perhaps some think it should. But it is here to distinguish this group from the overweight folks.
Overweight-You are well aware that your weight is a challenge. Your doctor tells you, you wear a very large size and you know it. Now this may be fine with you! And if it is then own it! Feel good about who you are. The reality is that it will limit who views your profile and the number of response you get. But there are some men that love this. Find that guy and you too will be able to have success with this.
Now the real problem is those who are searching these profiles. You need to stop excluding every option that is not fit and athletic in your searches. I compare this to car buying. We may go to the dealer and test drive the most expensive car in the shop. But realistically we know we can’t have it. And many of us less shallow people are just as happy in the Honda Accord. I am not saying you should ever settle on chemistry. In fact I always say you need both chemistry and respect. But perhaps you are missing some great people when all that you select is athletic and toned.
Truth is that when I met Erik 12 years ago he was a average. I was actually skinny. Remember the skinny option that is not athletic, that was me! Today we exercise regularly, eat healthy and take good care of ourselves. I can honestly say that the lies we both wrote in our profile 12 years ago are finally accurate. We both said “athletic and toned”!