Never Date this Type of Guy!
You have met the perfect man! He professes his love within days of contacting you. He has an amazing career, survived a big tragedy in life (typically the death of his wife), he adores children and always wanted a family, he buys you nice gifts and works hard to show you how close the two of you are. He also claims he rarely dates but there is just something so special about you.
You finally believe that love might not just be a fantasy. You find it refreshing after all the jerks you have dated in the past. It seems a bit fast but you have rationalized that you deserve this and you believe that you are special! You avoid sharing too many details with your friends because you sense they will discourage you. You feel a little uneasy but want this to work so badly that you fall into a huge state of denial!
Over time things just aren’t adding up. While you feel very comfortable in that new dress he bought you the stories he shares are not so comfortable. When you try to ask for clarification he gets annoyed. You question why his name doesn’t come up when you google him. I mean, if he owns his own law firm wouldn’t that show up? He always changes the subject to the love he feels for you but you are starting to wake up! You realize he is a complete con artist!
Why is he conning you? What does he want? Many women fear they are in great danger. In some cases this is true. But more likely he is going to ask you for a credit card down the road. He is booking a flight for a big vacation and needs your credit card information to hold the reservation. He may claim to have lost his wallet or been in an accident. These folks are typically pretty savvy and have become experts in manipulating women. They tap into your vulnerability and use it to their advantage. Some of these men are just complete sociopaths. Their entire motive may just be to have a relationship but because there is so much shame in their world they don’t know how to do this without conning you. The reasons don’t really matter! What matters most is that you get out safely or never get in this situation to begin with.
So after reading this I hope you will gain some insight on the men to avoid. But I will break them down for you.
- Find out every man’s full name and google them. If nothing comes up assume it is a fake name!
- Do NOT talk about love before you actually know a person. It is unhealthy and in these situations very dangerous.
- NEVER share your personal information with them. They do not need to come to your house initially and if they use the excuse of needing your address to send you flowers just say NO!
- Don’t accept the gifts. Seriously he is not going to be so distraught if you tell him that you love the bracelet but want to wait until things progress before you accept it. Otherwise when you try to end it he will use the gift as bait to contact you again.
- If the relationship has progressed and you know you are in deep, just end it. Try to do it with as little drama as possible as these men typically like the drama.
- If they keep texting you have your cell phone company block them. And do not reply to them in any way, do not ask a friend, ex husband or father to tell them to back off. This will only add fuel to the fire.
- If you are seriously afraid contact the police! In Connecticut you can file a report for harassment or stalking. Second degree harassment includes contacting a person with the intent to annoy. So don’t ever think that something is too small to report!
Lastly, please stop blaming the internet dating sites or men in general. You need to take responsibility for being safe, making healthy choices and believing you deserve the best! I met my husband on match.com 11 years ago. I had 13 well screened dates! None were stalkers and none harassed me. The only guy that ever lied to me told he was 5’8 when he was really about 5’4. It was the shortest date I ever had! Nothing against short guys really, just my personal preference.