How Big is Your Deal Breaker List?

Let’s face it women are far more likely to have these deal breaker lists than men. Some of you write them down like a shopping list while others continually recite them over and over again in your heads! We know the list quite well and every man we meet gets dragged through it without even knowing it is happening.  Every match.com profile we read gets dissected to see if they qualify and pass our deal breaker test.

Some ladies are laughing at this subject and thinking they just want a “normal” guy. And I know exactly what they mean by “normal”! They just want to meet someone who is funny, attractive, has no major issues and is into them. And I am here to tell you that you can actually find that guy! But the first step is to throw that deal breaker list out the window. Erase it from you brain, burn it, flush it or do whatever it takes to start with a clean slate!

Now there are only two items I want you to have on that new list.

  1. Chemistry
  2. Respect

I understand there are some obvious things that you can’t sacrifice. But it is like putting milk on the shopping list. I know I need milk each week and don’t need to write that one down. You will never forget the major deal breakers that are very obvious to you.

But chemistry and respect need to be etched in your mind with every guy you meet. And don’t think for one minute that having just one of these will be enough. If you have chemistry with no respect you are being treated poorly. And if you have respect with no chemistry you are bored to death. But if you have both many of the other issues can be worked through.

When I was on match.com over ten years ago I wanted to meet someone interested in having a family. On my first date with Erik he said “I don’t want to get married or have children.” Three years later Erik and I were married and he became a terrific stepdad to my son, Matthew. And three years after that little Trevor Huck was born and our family was complete!

Sure I understand many women have things that are important to them. And you should never sacrifice the things you value most! Just be careful with that deal breaker list because you may miss out on finding that “normal” guy!



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