Jaimy’s Blog

How Would You Rate Your Prom?

With all of these “promposals” popping up on the news I have to ask: How Would You Rate Your Prom? Prom for me was a big dramafest. I had an on again off again boyfriend for about a year named Jimmy. I think in his mind it was off and in my desperation I convinced myself it was on. I asked him to the prom because I thought that was a safe way to lock him in to seeing me again. Boy was I wrong, trust me when I say it didn’t work. Some background information for you: Jimmy did not go to my high school so I rarely saw him. In fact I don’t think he went to any school. He had a job full time fixing cars at the age of 16. I never met his family because he did not live with them. He stayed in the basement of...

How Divorced Are You?

New divorcees proudly wave their court document and chant their final divorce date. It is a huge accomplishment that many celebrate with divorce parties. Some wear T-Shirts with slogans like “The #1 Cause of Divorce is Marriage” or “Free at Last”. But are these people really divorced? Although the court process is exhausting and can be very drawn out it is actually the easier part. Making the necessary changes to your life is what really makes it over. Here are some things to consider when moving on.   Does your ex still have the freedom to enter your home without knocking or unannounced? Many women will rationalize that it was their shared house and they are just used to that. Another common excuse is that the kids like when their dad pops over. The kid “excuse” can usually guilt us into anything.  You are divorced and need to set some clear boundaries. You...

What Do You Lead With?

Think about your last first date. Try to remember the initial conversations that the two of you had that evening. Was it about you and your kids or was it about your date and his career? Perhaps it quickly went to a sexually flirtatious conversation. Whatever it was there is likely a pattern. Dig a little further back and think about what you have led with on other dates. And if you have a history of bad or disappointing first dates it might be time to take a look at what you lead with. Here are some typical examples of what singles might lead with on a first date and what this really says about you. You kids-When you are a single parent and dating it is tricky. But if you start the dating chatter with stories about your kids you are sending a fast message. Likely you feel some guilt...

Don’t Be Afraid to get Naked

There are some women who feel sexiest flaunting their bodies and sporting sexy lingerie. Others prefer to be hidden behind layers of clothing and dread the day a man begins to peel these off. Who would you rather be? It is important to feel sexy with your clothes off. Women should be able to enjoy sex. If they are self-conscious and focusing energy on how to hide their belly with a pillow, shut the lights and limit themselves to one position they are not going to be able to focus on the pleasure. Looking and feeling your best is important in life and I think we all know the obvious truth about clean eating and exercise. The simple truth is we come in all shapes and sizes and even with the best habits some of us have a shape that we simply don’t like. Rather than waste energy on trying...

How Not to Screw Up the Gift Exchange

Whether you are newly dating or have been married for 50 years gift giving is something everyone has to consider. Although I will focus on relationships these ideas will work for your kids, friends, family and coworkers. Some are naturally brilliant at buying gifts and they set the bar high. There is always one husband in the family or neighborhood that people admire what they give their wife each year. Just because your partner isn’t great at gift giving doesn’t mean it is a measure of how much he loves you. Some of us are better at other things. I bet that gift giving husband can’t gut your kitchen and bathroom. Whatever your situation is I have a few tips to help you out. Any time you are out throughout the year and your partner expresses an interest in something snap a picture. Wait until they turn around and aren’t looking...

Why Are You Still Single and Thanksgiving Dinner

There is always a relative that wants to know the minute they see you why you are still single. You may only see them at the holidays but you know exactly what is coming. For me it was my Aunt Sandra. I don't know what was worse, her asking the single question or her having a discussion with a new boyfriend that I did bring home. She was also that aunt that always had someone to set me up with. I was way too smart for this but my sister fell for it a couple of times. Here are some thoughts to consider...

The Chapter Never Written

I left out so many details of my first marriage in my book Crush for many reasons. I knew my son who was 11 at the time would read the book. I also wanted to focus on what I actually learned from the relationship as that was the premise of the book. But the biggest reason I left out the painful details was because I was afraid of him. I feared my ex-husband for so many reasons. He was abusive, controlling and anytime I disagreed with him there was a price to pay.   I remember when Matt was two and I had to travel for work. This was shortly after our divorce. Steve wanted to stay at my condo with my son. I was torn between listening to my new boyfriend point out how I bent over backwards for Steve and giving into Steve to keep the peace. I said no...

Lessons From Ray Rice

Although everything in the news about Ray Rice is creating growing awareness about domestic violence I think it causes more damage than good. I am especially concerned with the damage this does to our teen and young adult population. 1. So many girls and women in unhealthy relationships have lowered the bar on what is acceptable. They will think that because their man never knocked them out cold with his fist that he is better than Ray Rice. So if he is not as bad as Ray he must be pretty good. They believe that because their boyfriend has never hit them that hard that he likely never will. They have no concept that this behavior gets worse and not better. 2. This normalizes it for boys. If Ray Rice did it what is the big deal? He was angry and had to defend himself. They rationalize the violent behavior. They fail to...

20 Things to Ask Your Date?

If you are trying to think of what to say to a match.com prospect, speed dater or someone you are newly dating try these.  These questions are likely going to make you laugh, lead into more interesting topics and help you get to know each other better. Just be sure to have your answers prepared before you ask. What was the last thing you spent over $100 on? What was the last thing you resisted buying? What was the last thing you cooked that failed? What is messier your car, fridge or desk? What was the last thing you had to fix? When did you last visit the Emergency Room? Would you rather have a cleaning lady or a chef? When was the last time you fell or did something clumsy? Does anyone in the room remind you of someone? What did you have for breakfast today? What is your least favorite chore? Have you ever met anyone famous? Who is your celebrity...

Dating Dads

Here are some quick tips for Dating Dads that may surprise you. Dating Dads usually come with an ex. Remember they are your ex and it is not your responsibility to drop everything to help out. The sooner you get your ex to depend on someone else the sooner you will have your freedom to live your life. When a new date asks you about your divorce never blame the ex. It is really not an appropriate discussion for a new date. Keep your answer simple, honest and change the subject. Don't use this as an opportunity to blast your ex. This will just make you look bitter and angry. Something that is very unsexy when you are trying to connect with a new lady in your life. Don't over apologize to your new partner. Sometimes single dads have some guilt issues. When you screw up you need to own it. And you...

Stupid Things Never To Say In An Argument

People argue all the time. I have been married 10 years and we have some great arguments! It doesn't really matter who is right most of the time (although it is me). What matters is that it is constructive and everyone feels respected. Here are the stupid things that people say that can really just destroy an argument. You didn't apologize correctly-Many times someone will apologize to keep the peace and move on. Usually that person is the stronger person and you should be thankful they are able to do this. Obviously if they say "sorry but you are a complete idiot" you won't accept it. But if they say they are sorry take it and move on. You don't even know what you did wrong-This is a woman usually yelling at a man. Typically men don't know or understand what they did wrong. And many times they did nothing wrong. I...



replica watches

replica watches