Nov
22

1


The first Thanksgiving after my divorce was a tough one. Here I was with a 2 year old little boy and everything around us was closed. I could see neighbors climbing into their cars with pies and packages in their hands as they headed to see loved ones. This was painful for me to watch.

My mother died a few year earlier, my dad remarried and moved south with his new wife and my sister was with her in-laws who apparently passed judgement on my recent divorce. I was lucky enough to have an invite to a friend’s house later that evening but passing the time until 6:oo PM seemed endless.

I remember taking my little 2 year old son to Blockbuster because it was the only place opened. It was actually quite crowded, My son loved to look at all the movie covers and I was interested in watching all the different people walking in and out of the store. I was sad, lonely and wished I had a family, a turkey and an apple pie to enjoy on this day.

I share this with you today to tell you I was at a low point too. I have heard so many of my single clients struggle on this day. Here are just a few…

  1. I dread driving alone to my relatives and being single another year.
  2. It is not my year with my kids and that hurts.
  3. It is just another day and I am spending it with netflix.
  4. I had a big loss and this holiday reminds me of some sadness.
  5. I dread my relatives asking about my love life.

All I want any of you to know is that you are not alone. I promise I won’t convince you to go volunteer or get over your self pity. Because sometimes we need to just experience those feelings in order to move on from them.

But every stage in our life is temporary. If you are alone or sad this year I can assure you it will pass. Remember a time when you were very sad in the past. And remind yourself that you got over that sad time. And most likely you learned something from it.

Today my house is full. My 2 year old blockbuster date is now 18, I am married again and I have a 10 year old son. My brother and sister-in-law flew in from Buffalo and my other sister-in-law and nephew are on their way. There is a turkey in the oven and plenty of pies waiting for us.

I don’t share this to make you sick. I wish I had a crystal ball and could see you happy and laughing next year. I promise you this is possible. And I promise you that if this year is tough you will remember how you survived a tough period in life and feel proud of your accomplishment.

Today I am proudest of my toughest years! I learned so much from those experiences. Try to make the most of your day. Figure out what makes you feel good? Go buy a fun craft activity at Walmart, make your favorite pie, reach out to an old friend, jump on an online dating site, redecorate a room, go to Blockbuster (okay I realize they are all closed but you get the point)! Find some joy in today by doing something that makes you feel great. Someday this tough year will be an amazing story you can share with someone you love that is having a tough time. And the story will be much better if you can share something positive you did that got you through it!

 

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One Response to “My Thanksgiving Date”

  1. Deborah vincent says:

    Thank you. I cried as I read this. It’s not my first holiday single but never thought it would last this long. My holidays have changed terribly and I need to start some new traditions staring me in the lead role. Thank you for your kind thoughts and words.deb

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