When Should We Become Facebook Friends

381031_10150642529198378_1306428351_nWe are so curious to learn everything we can about our potential new partner as fast as possible. Facebook is likely the most telling of all. We want to see their photos, read their posts, calculate how many likes they have and even view their friends, groups and interests. I just took a look at my husband’s facebook page to see what I could learn while trying to pretend that I didn’t know him. First thing that I noticed was that his pictures are super creepy! The cover photo is an up close shot of him with one eye dilated. You can see every last blemish on his face. Let’s face it we all look better with a little distance. His profile picture is him covered in dirt at the end of a tough mudder. I admit that is kind of hot but you can’t really even tell what he looks like and he is filthy. All his recent posts are attacking stupid people. Here is an example straight from his page… “I think it would cool to buy the domain whether.com and create a site of weather reports for people that can’t spell and make all kinds of typos and stuff like that.” And to think that post got 15 likes and 4 comments. Honestly, if I had viewed his facebook page before ever meeting him I would have had a completely wrong impression of him. I know that he is always joking but his page has branded him as a complainer who makes fun of people and has some kind of eye issues.

My point is that viewing someone’s facebook page actually can give a very false impression of the person you are looking at it. Sure you can see their pictures and that is a huge benefit but here is my list of reasons to stay back.

  1. No matter what you will look like a stalker. It is creepy when you have nothing but a first date set up and you see that person’s face in your friend request box.
  2. Don’t forget when you friend request them they can view you as well. So ask yourself how does your facebook page brand you? If you are always posting about drama, seeking attention, trying to look like a know it all or never have likes under your posts it can be embarrassing and a huge turn off.
  3. Remember they can see when you comment on other posts, write questions in your groups and they can even join groups that they see you in (https://www.facebook.com/groups/datedoc/). Then you basically never get rid of them.
  4. You now have to be careful not to post about other dates because they are watching you. And what do you do if they post something about being on a date or a flirty photo. You will be tempted to like the picture and come across looking a little nuts.
  5. If you arrive to the date and can’t stand each other you will have to unfriend them or you could be the one unfriended. Either way it is an awkward moment that could easily be avoided.

My advice is to slow down and let the relationship takes it course. You should always google them because you want to make sure they are legitimately who they say they are. Some people don’t have their facebook profiles hidden. If that is the case I am all for a little spying. But I would suggest that you hide your page so they don’t learn something too crazy too soon and run off before even meeting you.

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