Are You Pickier Than an Eighth Grader?

Are You Pickier Than an Eighth Grader?


My 13 year old son just shared a story with me about a time he went to ask a girl out at school. We will call her Annie. Matt recalled wearing his favorite T-Shirt and basketball sneakers and remembers taking extra time to look his best that morning. He arrived to school with all the anticipation of seeing Annie and asking her out. Annie chose a thick, bright pink belt to wear on this day (she apparently knew he was going to ask her out). Matthew thought the belt was awful and I quote him as saying “I was thinking ewwwww, I am not going out with a girl that wears that.” I found the story humorous and appreciated that he shared so much with me. I wondered if Annie was thinking the belt was the deal breaker. Perhaps she regretted it the whole day. I think I have been in Annie’s shoes or belts a few times.

For an eighth grader this is not unusual. It is not as if they are trying to find a partner with a good education, financial security, potential to be a good parent, etc… Their priorities are a little different.

If you are like my 13 year old son and would dump a date based on a belt you are too picky! But if you are just looking for someone that you find attractive, someone who you connect with and someone who respects you than you are not too picky. Attraction is not something we can snap our fingers and change. Either you feel it or you don’t. Sacrificing that will leave you with great regret one day. But attraction isn’t enough. You need respect and the minute you accept anything less than that the relationship will take a downward spiral forever. If you can find someone that you are attracted to and who respects you there is no need to worry about their style of jeans, thickness of the belt or brand of sneakers. Those things can easily be changed or at least taken off.

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