Women who are in happier relationships require a lot less. You see these women get love and affection on a daily basis. They feel special most of the time and although walking in the door to some beautiful flowers on the kitchen table would brighten their day, there are no demands from this girl. There is no nagging and no deeper wounds to be covered up. In fact she is the type of woman that has no problem buying her own flowers if she so desires.

Newly dating couples have a whole different story. Let’s face it if you start dating someone in December it can be a little tricky. You have to get through the winter holidays and before you know it Valentines Day is here! Most men agree they don’t want anything! But making them a nice meal, wearing a sexy nightie under your clothes or giving them a massage could make it special. But guys, if you are newly dating a woman who has been single for many Valentines Days, you have got to go out on a limb and make her feel special. Whether you frame a special picture of the two of you, buy a cute children’s book about Valentines Day and paste some of your own photos in the book or send her flowers… it is really a safe bet! A please don’t think that doing this on the first Valentines Day sets a precedent for years to come. Because I can assure you that if your relationship is strong she won’t need those guilt gifts year after year.

In my opinion…the less she nags, complains and demands the more she deserves. But this doesn’t mean that it has to happen on Valentines Day. Make her feel special every day!

                          

Barbara Greenberg from http://www.talkingteenage.com calls to talk about teen dating.

Amy-Is it possible to fall in love again with someone you lost that loving feeling for? What do you think???

Maria-I’ve always been attracted to men in uniform; does anybody know where can I meet one? Lol

Stacey- What to do with guys that are 3000 miles away.

Jason posted this comment to my blog about jumping into bed too soon…

Jess-if a girl is dating someone can she have guy friends that she talks to/hangs out with on a regular basis? Or is it considered disrespectful?

Russell-question for the ladies. have gone on couple dates with someone, first date was told we were going as friends. second dinner was better, fun and joking. third was told would be as friends and my question is: is this normal for someone who has been hurt in the past to stay at a distance and not let others in?

Question of the Week-..Ever date someone where you couldn’t stand their kids or even their pets? Anyone confront it? get past it? or was it a deal breaker?

jess-my boyfriend is a very indecisive person and im wondering if this is going to effect us in the long run… or am i being crazy? About his job, where to eat, everything…

Steve-Hello ladies after breaking up with my ex because of a mistake I made I told her I wanted her back. She is now seeing someone else but she said if they break up “we’ll see about going back out” What does that mean is it a code or what.

                          

1. Where the Granny Panties! The one sure way you won’t let a guy in your pants is if you are wearing those terribly unsexy panties known as Granny Panties. Now in most cases you really should not even own a pair but they have a lot of value in ensuring you go home alone on that first date.
2. Although Granny Panties should do the trick why not play it extra safe and don’t shave your legs and armpits that day. And don’t try to outsmart me on this one and throw a razor in your purse. Go out feeling a little hairy and unkempt and I can assure you that going home alone is the only option.
3. Another good idea is not to change the kitty litter. Sorry ladies but new studies show that almost all of you have cats. I know there is the option to go back to his house too. But if your house is off limits because you know that it stinks of your cat than the likelihood of bringing him home decreases dramatically.

Sex is hot but I can assure you that sex with a man you are in love with, a man you trust and a man you can lower your inhibitions with is even hotter. Get through those first few dates and connect with your new love interest on a deeper level first! You will never have to do the walk of shame again! And in the long run you will feel much better in so many ways.

                          

Becca-Well maybe you should discuss  of why the hell do women reach their sexual prime in their late 20′s and 30′s and men in their late teens!!?? This just doesn’t sync up appropriately.
http://www.yourtango.com/experts/dr–trina-read/expert-when-do-women-reach-their-sexual-peak

Lisa-I hear everyone say you have to work hard at marriage? Tell us how hard do the two of you work?

Angela-ok…i hav heard if you love sumone set them free..if they come back to u they’re yours…is that true?????

What do you think about this story Erik- http://www.nationalledger.com/pop-culture-news/celebrity-marriage-bryan-ferry-214447.shtml

Tashia-Hey all, if a single coworker asks you out for drinks would you automatically assume that they’re interested? Would you go? Would you feel a need to check with HR before doing so?

Wade-I was not born in America and find many are turned off by my accent. And I have even tried to use some dating companies and have been turned away. What are your thought son this Date Doctor?

Would you rather date a pot smoker or a drinker?

Becca-You’re on a date. The infamous, “what are you looking for?” question rolls off the tip of your date’s tongue. You respond by saying…

Question of the Week…Is a little jealousy ok? Is it cute or automatically a red flag? Are you the jealous type? Ever date the jealous type

                          

So many people have made that popular resolution to hit the gym more and get back in shape. It is the perfect resolution for someone who is single! First of all looking and feeling your best will always make you more desirable in the dating arena. But it is also a terrific place  to find that perfect connection. I know many are thinking it sounds great in theory but how do you actually initiate a discussion with someone at the gym? I just happen to have a few great tips for you today!

1. First you have to get off the couch and go to the gym!

2. Look cute but not like you are trying to look cute. In other words don’t wear heavy make up, perfume and have your hair done perfectly. But at the same time wearing an over-sized t-shirt and grubby sweats will never work. Invest in some cute workout clothes, a good pair of sneakers and put your hair in a fun pony tail or head band. You are at the gym and really should look the part.

3. Remember that you are not the only one on the planet that is single at the gym. So many people I talk to are looking just like you. And if you happen to accidentally talk with someone who is married don’t sweat it (pun intended). Married people still like to chat and if they sense you are flirting they will likely just be flattered. Trust me this has happened to me quite a few times

4. Technology is making people less approachable more and more each day. If you are listening to your ipod use ear buds and only have one in. This way if someone walks up to speak to you, you will hear what they are saying. It is far less intimidating and awkward to approach someone that might actually hear you.

5. Pay attention to the obvious signs. If a guy jumps on the treadmill next you and all the other treadmills in the area are empty than he is hoping to have a conversation with you. Jump on the opportunity and say hello!

6. Wear a t-shirt or hat that will work as a conversation piece. I always have my clients wear one of our Date Doctor t-shirts because I get so many comments when I wear mine! Also anything with a favorite sports team will work. A great way to start a conversation is by saying “a Red Sox fan?”

7. If you are bringing a book or magazine have something eye catching. Someone on the treadmill next you just might comment on the cover of the book if it looks entertaining. This can lead you into a book discussion. Might I suggest Crush, http://www.amazon.com/Crush-Lessons-learned-through-lifetime/dp/1463586345/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1325685435&sr=1-2

8. I want to share a quick story that actually happened to me. I was on the treadmill and my keys fell to the ground. They were not in the way and no one was going to trip over them so I left them. Personally I did not want to interrupt my work out. Moments later a very cute guy was walking by and he picked up my keys and handed them to me. I thanked him and joked about why I left them there. He smiled and then asked about my Date Doctor t-shirt. For me this was great for marketing as I gave the guy my business card and he ended up coming to a speed dating event. For my single friends this is a great strategy for meeting singles at the gym. Always a good idea to have your business cards handy whether you are looking for business or love!

9. Just remember attitude is everything! If you are confident and believe you will find true love in 2012 then you will certainly increase your chances of doing this.

10. And lets face it, having a great body will help a bit too. Physical attraction is important and you deserve to look and feel your best!

                          

Online dating is on the rise and so many, including myself have had great success with this. But others fear this exciting way to find love. Many imagine their potential suitor won’t look like their picture or will just lack that instant connection. I remember my many first match.com dates. I was either thinking…Oh please let this be him or oh no please don’t let this be him. Those who have tried internet dating understand exactly where I am coming from! Although I have endless tips on how to make online dating work for you I respect your decision to avoid it at all costs.

But speed dating solves a lot of these problems! Speed dating allows you to find out if the chemistry is there immediately. On internet dates you have to get all ready and look your best only to risk disappointment in the first 5 seconds. At a speed dating events you only spend 5 minutes with each date. If the chemistry is lacking the bell will soon ring and you can move onto to the next eligible date. No awkward dinner dates where you question who will pay and no fears of your date leaning in for a kiss good night. No need to tell your date you are not interested you just don’t check their name off on the match card and you are good to go.

Now I must say speed dating, internet dating and even meeting at a bar will only lead you to success in love if you are in the right frame of mind to be dating. So some quick tips that will help you out no matter which dating venue you select.

1. Keep a positive attitude! Sure you need to look good but I have seen the best looking people walk away with no matches because they were full of negativity or drama and were nothing but a total turn off.
2. Always avoid topics of the ex, sex and any negativity. This may seem obvious but I can assure you there have been both men and women that actually hit the topic of sex in that quick 5 minutes speed date.
3. Avoid interviewing. You are looking for love not a job. If you have that deal breaker list just put it aside for that first meeting and focus more and having a great time!
4. Don’t play hard to get…genuinely have enough passions and interests in life that make you less available! This is key as needy singles are a big turn off!
5. Have fun with it! If you view dating as stressful you will create experiences that are stressful. Enjoy yourself and don’t give up! It only takes one and the more you are trying new things the more likely you will find them!

                          

Wendy-New boyfriend called me by the wrong name…I am sure I am not the first to have this happen but how do you react to it?

Anonymous-Is 3 dates with 3 different women in 13 days doing good? Or is it slightly overboard?

Stacey-Boyfriend of 9 months wants to go play cards with his buddies on New Years Eve and I am very disappointed! Thoughts?

Laurie posts-If what you see by the eye doesn’t please you, than close your eyes and see from the heart. Because the heart can see beauty and love more than
the eyes can ever wonder.

Frances-Love the podcast – even all the way out here in S. California. divorced just over a year after 23 years of marriage. Internet dating and don’t seem to get past the first meeting. Either the guys I like say there is no chemistry or the ones who want to see me again just aren’t my type. I am getting frustrated and since I am 55 I feel like time is running out since most guys want a younger woman. Any thoughts on what I can do to improve my odds or maybe it is something I am doing wrong. Personally, I think I am a pretty great catch!  I have a great job, good sense of humor, nice smile, cute ( a little on the overweight side, but I’m working on that) very positive attitude, athletic, smart, pretty easy-going, caring, great mom, great friend…
Thanks,
Frances

Question of the Week-Why do you think you are still single? And how sure are you that this is the real reason?
Evan Cobbledick It should be said that people who divorce, often do it for there children as well..as they should to avoid damaging there child..too many people stay together for the sake of the child…wrong choice.

Becca Biram I’m  just wondering why I keep meeting these digital exhibitionists. Obviously I move on before things escalate but for those of you who remember I told you about the dirty video guy after 2 dates, the newest
is trying to sext after 2 dates. Is this some new generational thing like they know I’m not going to put out so maybe they can do it digitally? Ugh this makes my head spin. And I look like the bad guy when I say uhhh no I’m not going to sext with you. I haven’t even seen you with your shirt off in person! Me oh my! I could write a comedy based on this, albeit a pretty dirty one haha

Kelly Young I know this may sound really dumb and I wonder if any women can relate but like if its a bad date its like I say to myself I just wasted time I could have been spending w my daughter. Time is too precious to waste and my daughter is growing up too quickly so sometimes I don’t bother or I’ll go out w people I feel comfortable w.

Follow up to the Question of the Week-As a follow up to the last question… Do some men like bitches or do they marry sweet women that turn into bitches? Reminds me of the expression… Women marry men hoping they will change and men marry women hoping they won’t.

Define Bitch
Nicole-Funny posts on the definition of what makes a bitch.  So, to lighten things
up, I’m curious to see what people think makes someone sexy.  This
shouldn’t have the positive/negative sides to it- hopefully just
positives.

                          

Peter-This might sound like a dumb question but here goes. It seems my Match profile attracts women 52+ years old and a few 27+ years old but I am 51 years old and my profile says 40 – 50.  I am not interested out of that range.  (You have looked at my profile so my aren’t the ones I am attracted to sending me something instead of the others.  I don’t think I am bad looking.  Be honest.)

Erik-What do y’all know about dating apps? Next week we’ll bring it up on the show.

Question of the Week…Many dating couples are meeting their dates families over the holidays! How important is it to like or align with your potential in-laws? Is this a reflection of the person you are dating? Ever date someone with a crazy family? Was it a problem or a deal breaker?

Anonymous- I have heard your story about not being too eager or needy for marriage but I am 39 (almost 40) and want nothing more in this world than to have a baby! It would devastate me to miss out on motherhood. So please Date Doctor tell me how I date w/out being so eager when the reality is I sooo want to have a baby and be a mommie in this lifetime! I am fortunate that I do meet a lot of guys and I am afraid you are going to say that I scare them away.

Angela-just wondering…when the x comes over to talk to you about how it’s completely over and he’s moved on and getting married….what should my behavior have been?

Jaimy-On average who is having better sex? The couple that hooked up drunk once or the couple that has been married 20 years?

                          

Allison-What happened to meeting someone at the grocery store or Starbucks???

Hadria-Has internet dating changed the way people treat each other in dating and relationships?

Samantha-My friend met someone on pof a month ago. He texted her every day and they have spent lots of time together and the last time she heard from him was Thursday. She felt everything was going so well – what could have happened? She wants to text him and ask why? Should she? comment by pia- How many posts have there been about this (including my own post in november) Guys, stop it already! Grow up and tell the girl you dont want to see her anymore. believe me, she will appreciate it even though it might be painful!

Allison-Question: I am supposed to be going on a date tomorrow night and was given the challenge to plan it!!! HELP! What is something cool to do????

Paula-Ok Jaimy, I have another one for you!!! You’ve known me since HS, and you know my luck with Match…. I just got an email from a 24yr old, wanting to meet, ok, come on, I am 43 yrs old…WTH, his profile says he is looking for someone between 22-31yrs old, Ummm, I could be his mother!!!! (unless that is what he wants…lol) Why would a 24yr old bother with a 43yr old?

Brian-We have been talking back and forth in a chat about his fear of asking a girl out that he knows is interested in him. He has facebooked her and she responds to his comments right away. But he is still too afraid to ask her out.

Michael-I broke up with a girl recently because she won’t kick her 18 year old son out of the house. I basically told her she had to choose. When she didn’t kick him out I saw that as her choice. But I really miss her and have some doubts. Thoughts??

Lisa-loved your blog on restaurants and dating. My date sent his meal back bc it was a little overcooked. I was so turned off by this. What are your thoughts? It was our second date, first was a quick coffee date as you suggest

Question of the week-…If someone you are dating doesn’t like your outfit, haricut, or thinks you are gaining weight do you want them to tell you the truth? Do they need to sugar coat it? Would you appreciate the honesty or be offended? Any of these situations ever happened to any of you?

Dave-Question I met someone online and we have been talking or texting until late in the night every night. First date was last week and it went amazing. We got along and it felt like we had been dating for months.  At the end of the date we kissed. About  20 min later she txts me to say thank you. I tell her had great time and it was great to meet her. Well ever since then she has been very inconsistent with responding to txts and just doesn’t seem as interested. Which is in stark contrast to before when it seemed she couldn’t respond fast enough. We have tentative plans to get together this week. Any thoughts? I am really into this one!

Jim-To all of you women out there on the dating websites, are you just so inundated with messages from guys that you just can’t respond to them all? Keep in mind, at least if you get a message from me, that I read your profile, something interested me more than just your picture(s), and I spent a few minutes of my life to break the ice and say hello. Yet, I rarely get a response to messages I send out. On the rare occasions that I receive an initial message from a woman, I ALWAYS respond, regardless whether I see anything interesting or not in her profile. It’s called being polite and common courtesy.

Donna-Trying to figure out what to do for New Year’s Eve. Do I stay home alone and feel sorry for myself; hang out with my kids even though it is their dad’s weekend; sing at a party full of pre-set couples or … ideas anyone? Decisions decisions..

Guy is dating a girl who was overly excited to have him over and show off her Christmas tree. She villages from the front yard throughout the house. His thought was whoooaaa she has gone way overboard! Can he tell her? Honestly I have never celebrated these holidays and am not sure how committed some get to their traditions of decorating? How sensitive might one be? BTW no kids involved she does this just for herself.

                          

What do you really want them to do? Please don’t respond to the question by saying that they should just love you for you. This is ridiculous and a complete cop out! If your significant other is turned off then this is a chemistry thing. And chemistry is real. We can’t control the things that turn us on and off no matter how hard we try!

There are two options for how your loved one can deal with this! First is that hey could ignore it. But remember ignoring it just means they don’t share it with you. It does not mean that they aren’t thinking it, aren’t feeling turned off or even disgusted. But they just might choose to ignore it as they fear a dramatic, emotional reaction from you. And let me tell you there is nothing less attractive than a dramatic, emotional outburst!

Another option would be to give them permission to tell you. Now this doesn’t mean that you have a serious talk and tell them that you want them to share their honest opinions with you. They likely will think it is a set up and will still remain silent. This begins by you asking them their opinions of things and even allowing them to offer constructive criticism. It might be like this…

You-Hey I am thinking this skirt makes my butt look to big, I have another option so be honest.
Him-Actually honey, I think it was the pint of ice cream you had for dessert last night that makes your butt look big.

Now here is your chance to laugh and have fun with it! Truth is if you think it makes your butt look fat than you are probably right. So why not want the honestly? Now if you laugh and say “ok the other skirt it is”, he will learn that you are open to his honesty. If you storm away calling him a jerk then you will never get another honest answer again.

I am in a relationship where my husband Erik can offer honest feedback on almost anything and I can roll with it! In fact I stole the pint of ice cream joke from him. Just a few quick rules he needs to stick to and I will always be open to it!
1. Never tell me you don’t like my hair or outfit after we have arrived to the party. Be sure to look at me before we leave the house and offer the feedback while I still have chance to change things.
2. Never give me the negative feedback when other people are around. It just looks so disrespectful and would be embarrassing for everyone present.
3. Never offer the feedback during my days of PMS. Ok I am kidding on that one. It is not your job to track my emotional rollercoaster just forgive me if I should become a bit more dramatic during those few days!

To sum this whole thing up remember that laughter will bring your relationship closer and drama will pull it apart. You decide how you want things to go!