Do Bitchy Women Get Better Gifts On Valentines Day?

Feb 6, 2012

Most women who are in crappy, loveless, or emotionally neglecting relationships want the traditional hallmark holiday Valentine’s Day gifts! And truth is these husbands usually comply. They understand that their workaholic habits, secret infidelity or inability to meet their wives emotional needs can be  a lot to take. They may feel some hidden guilt or perhaps just find it easier to drop $365 on a Pandora bracelet than to listen to her nag about what they didn’t do! The sad part is that these women know they are guilt gifts yet still require and almost demand that they get them year after year. It never quite fixes the deeper wound the relationship is experiencing but it sure does provide some instant gratification.

Women who are in happier relationships require a lot less. You see these women get love and affection on a daily basis. They feel special most of the time and although walking in the door to some beautiful flowers on the kitchen table would brighten their day, there are no demands from this girl. There is no nagging and no deeper wounds to be covered up. In fact she is the type of woman that has no problem buying her own flowers if she so desires.

Newly dating couples have a whole different story. Let’s face it if you start dating someone in December it can be a little tricky. You have to get through the winter holidays and before you know it Valentines Day is here! Most men agree they don’t want anything! But making them a nice meal, wearing a sexy nightie under your clothes or giving them a massage could make it special. But guys, if you are newly dating a woman who has been single for many Valentines Days, you have got to go out on a limb and make her feel special. Whether you frame a special picture of the two of you, buy a cute children’s book about Valentines Day and paste some of your own photos in the book or send her flowers… it is really a safe bet! A please don’t think that doing this on the first Valentines Day sets a precedent for years to come. Because I can assure you that if your relationship is strong she won’t need those guilt gifts year after year.

In my opinion…the less she nags, complains and demands the more she deserves. But this doesn’t mean that it has to happen on Valentines Day. Make her feel special every day!

High Sex Drive? Jumping in to Bed too Soon?

Jan 20, 2012

I hear it all the time! Women are becoming more and more aggressive sexually and more often than not men are getting turned off! This doesn’t necessarily mean that they are so turned off that they kick you out of bed…But they are typically turned off enough that they don’t call you back the next day. I understand that sex feels great and you deserve to have it and enjoy every minute of it! So if all you want is a roll in the hay then no need to read on. But if you are actually seeking a long term relationship where sex is one of the many benefits then you need to hold off for just a minute. Try some of these tips on those first few dates and you will be just fine!

1. Where the Granny Panties! The one sure way you won’t let a guy in your pants is if you are wearing those terribly unsexy panties known as Granny Panties. Now in most cases you really should not even own a pair but they have a lot of value in ensuring you go home alone on that first date.
2. Although Granny Panties should do the trick why not play it extra safe and don’t shave your legs and armpits that day. And don’t try to outsmart me on this one and throw a razor in your purse. Go out feeling a little hairy and unkempt and I can assure you that going home alone is the only option.
3. Another good idea is not to change the kitty litter. Sorry ladies but new studies show that almost all of you have cats. I know there is the option to go back to his house too. But if your house is off limits because you know that it stinks of your cat than the likelihood of bringing him home decreases dramatically.

Sex is hot but I can assure you that sex with a man you are in love with, a man you trust and a man you can lower your inhibitions with is even hotter. Get through those first few dates and connect with your new love interest on a deeper level first! You will never have to do the walk of shame again! And in the long run you will feel much better in so many ways.

Do You Run Here Often?

Jan 4, 2012

So you are on the treadmill and someone very cute hops on the bike right beside you. Do you say hello? Or just stay continue reading your magazine with your head set on?

So many people have made that popular resolution to hit the gym more and get back in shape. It is the perfect resolution for someone who is single! First of all looking and feeling your best will always make you more desirable in the dating arena. But it is also a terrific place  to find that perfect connection. I know many are thinking it sounds great in theory but how do you actually initiate a discussion with someone at the gym? I just happen to have a few great tips for you today!

1. First you have to get off the couch and go to the gym!

2. Look cute but not like you are trying to look cute. In other words don’t wear heavy make up, perfume and have your hair done perfectly. But at the same time wearing an over-sized t-shirt and grubby sweats will never work. Invest in some cute workout clothes, a good pair of sneakers and put your hair in a fun pony tail or head band. You are at the gym and really should look the part.

3. Remember that you are not the only one on the planet that is single at the gym. So many people I talk to are looking just like you. And if you happen to accidentally talk with someone who is married don’t sweat it (pun intended). Married people still like to chat and if they sense you are flirting they will likely just be flattered. Trust me this has happened to me quite a few times

4. Technology is making people less approachable more and more each day. If you are listening to your ipod use ear buds and only have one in. This way if someone walks up to speak to you, you will hear what they are saying. It is far less intimidating and awkward to approach someone that might actually hear you.

5. Pay attention to the obvious signs. If a guy jumps on the treadmill next you and all the other treadmills in the area are empty than he is hoping to have a conversation with you. Jump on the opportunity and say hello!

6. Wear a t-shirt or hat that will work as a conversation piece. I always have my clients wear one of our Date Doctor t-shirts because I get so many comments when I wear mine! Also anything with a favorite sports team will work. A great way to start a conversation is by saying “a Red Sox fan?”

7. If you are bringing a book or magazine have something eye catching. Someone on the treadmill next you just might comment on the cover of the book if it looks entertaining. This can lead you into a book discussion. Might I suggest Crush, http://www.amazon.com/Crush-Lessons-learned-through-lifetime/dp/1463586345/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1325685435&sr=1-2

8. I want to share a quick story that actually happened to me. I was on the treadmill and my keys fell to the ground. They were not in the way and no one was going to trip over them so I left them. Personally I did not want to interrupt my work out. Moments later a very cute guy was walking by and he picked up my keys and handed them to me. I thanked him and joked about why I left them there. He smiled and then asked about my Date Doctor t-shirt. For me this was great for marketing as I gave the guy my business card and he ended up coming to a speed dating event. For my single friends this is a great strategy for meeting singles at the gym. Always a good idea to have your business cards handy whether you are looking for business or love!

9. Just remember attitude is everything! If you are confident and believe you will find true love in 2012 then you will certainly increase your chances of doing this.

10. And lets face it, having a great body will help a bit too. Physical attraction is important and you deserve to look and feel your best!

Quickest Way to Find Love!

Jan 3, 2012

New Years has just passed us by and Valentines Day will be creeping up in no time! Yet so many singles can’t figure out just how to find that perfect match.

Online dating is on the rise and so many, including myself have had great success with this. But others fear this exciting way to find love. Many imagine their potential suitor won’t look like their picture or will just lack that instant connection. I remember my many first match.com dates. I was either thinking…Oh please let this be him or oh no please don’t let this be him. Those who have tried internet dating understand exactly where I am coming from! Although I have endless tips on how to make online dating work for you I respect your decision to avoid it at all costs.

But speed dating solves a lot of these problems! Speed dating allows you to find out if the chemistry is there immediately. On internet dates you have to get all ready and look your best only to risk disappointment in the first 5 seconds. At a speed dating events you only spend 5 minutes with each date. If the chemistry is lacking the bell will soon ring and you can move onto to the next eligible date. No awkward dinner dates where you question who will pay and no fears of your date leaning in for a kiss good night. No need to tell your date you are not interested you just don’t check their name off on the match card and you are good to go.

Now I must say speed dating, internet dating and even meeting at a bar will only lead you to success in love if you are in the right frame of mind to be dating. So some quick tips that will help you out no matter which dating venue you select.

1. Keep a positive attitude! Sure you need to look good but I have seen the best looking people walk away with no matches because they were full of negativity or drama and were nothing but a total turn off.
2. Always avoid topics of the ex, sex and any negativity. This may seem obvious but I can assure you there have been both men and women that actually hit the topic of sex in that quick 5 minutes speed date.
3. Avoid interviewing. You are looking for love not a job. If you have that deal breaker list just put it aside for that first meeting and focus more and having a great time!
4. Don’t play hard to get…genuinely have enough passions and interests in life that make you less available! This is key as needy singles are a big turn off!
5. Have fun with it! If you view dating as stressful you will create experiences that are stressful. Enjoy yourself and don’t give up! It only takes one and the more you are trying new things the more likely you will find them!

Can You Really Deal With What They Are Thinking?

Dec 12, 2011

There are times when the one you are dating finds you annoying, unattractive or just a complete turn off! Sure we all have our off days. We are human! We wake up with bad breath, fluctuate in our weight, have bad hair days, body odor and moody dramatic moments. Perhaps the dress we thought was hot doesn’t work anymore or the new lipstick makes us look cheesy. Or perhaps it is just a turn off to that one person that we love.

What do you really want them to do? Please don’t respond to the question by saying that they should just love you for you. This is ridiculous and a complete cop out! If your significant other is turned off then this is a chemistry thing. And chemistry is real. We can’t control the things that turn us on and off no matter how hard we try!

There are two options for how your loved one can deal with this! First is that hey could ignore it. But remember ignoring it just means they don’t share it with you. It does not mean that they aren’t thinking it, aren’t feeling turned off or even disgusted. But they just might choose to ignore it as they fear a dramatic, emotional reaction from you. And let me tell you there is nothing less attractive than a dramatic, emotional outburst!

Another option would be to give them permission to tell you. Now this doesn’t mean that you have a serious talk and tell them that you want them to share their honest opinions with you. They likely will think it is a set up and will still remain silent. This begins by you asking them their opinions of things and even allowing them to offer constructive criticism. It might be like this…

You-Hey I am thinking this skirt makes my butt look to big, I have another option so be honest.
Him-Actually honey, I think it was the pint of ice cream you had for dessert last night that makes your butt look big.

Now here is your chance to laugh and have fun with it! Truth is if you think it makes your butt look fat than you are probably right. So why not want the honestly? Now if you laugh and say “ok the other skirt it is”, he will learn that you are open to his honesty. If you storm away calling him a jerk then you will never get another honest answer again.

I am in a relationship where my husband Erik can offer honest feedback on almost anything and I can roll with it! In fact I stole the pint of ice cream joke from him. Just a few quick rules he needs to stick to and I will always be open to it!
1. Never tell me you don’t like my hair or outfit after we have arrived to the party. Be sure to look at me before we leave the house and offer the feedback while I still have chance to change things.
2. Never give me the negative feedback when other people are around. It just looks so disrespectful and would be embarrassing for everyone present.
3. Never offer the feedback during my days of PMS. Ok I am kidding on that one. It is not your job to track my emotional rollercoaster just forgive me if I should become a bit more dramatic during those few days!

To sum this whole thing up remember that laughter will bring your relationship closer and drama will pull it apart. You decide how you want things to go!